Open Your Eyes, Lollipop!

She mimed taking out her heart. It was precious.

Me: Can I have your charger?
Mandy: You have it.  And my heart.
Me: O_O

Real life, girl on girl

Mandy: Why were you wearing flannel?

Me: Because I didn't want to put on a bra.

DO YOU LIVE IN CHICAGO?

DO YOU HAVE ACCESS TO A LARGE VEHICLE?

CAN YOU HELP ME MOVE MY NEW BED AND BED FRAME INTO MY APARTMENT?

I’LL GIVE YOU PIZZA AND MONEY. DON’T ACT LIKE YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED. WE ALSO NEED TO GO TO IKEA.

I WOULD BE FOREVER INDEBTED TO YOU.

PLZ.